so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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