Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
