My boss' voice literally gives me gas
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
being pregnant is like rehab
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
