im drinking this country out of the recession.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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