So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
