just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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