I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize