It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
then he tried to convert me to islam
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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