If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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