So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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