So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
