Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
everyone is single if you try hard enough
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
