Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize