u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
