Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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