I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
