Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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