Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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