So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
