how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.