I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
30+ People Share Their Worst ‘Intimate Experience’ And They’re Traumatizing
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
