Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work http://tfl.nu/fhj1
  Replies (47) Good night (745) Bad night (3428)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (267): i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal http://tfl.nu/wd7r
  Replies (18) Good night (1354) Bad night (4015)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (562): Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on http://tfl.nu/30zy
  Replies (38) Good night (2521) Bad night (7753)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint http://tfl.nu/xmhe
  Replies (15) Good night (4599) Bad night (946)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone? http://tfl.nu/jm19
  Replies (4) Good night (2492) Bad night (1163)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (562): Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics http://tfl.nu/ne8m
  Replies (16) Good night (4281) Bad night (860)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads http://tfl.nu/zprq
  Replies (2) Good night (2725) Bad night (828)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (605): and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month. http://tfl.nu/xuv1
  Replies (4) Good night (1006) Bad night (3048)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub http://tfl.nu/jeln
  Replies (5) Good night (2127) Bad night (741)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (907): Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina. http://tfl.nu/7bx7
  Replies (2) Good night (843) Bad night (450)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (585): this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field http://tfl.nu/wzry
  Replies (2) Good night (496) Bad night (607)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now? http://tfl.nu/f3ul
  Replies (4) Good night (620) Bad night (346)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (775): This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark. http://tfl.nu/xozo
  Replies (8) Good night (826) Bad night (382)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up http://tfl.nu/mg00
  Replies (3) Good night (213) Bad night (578)
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys

  (703): View more from Virginia

  That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (334): I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys (703): That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard http://tfl.nu/zqx5
  Replies (1) Good night (977) Bad night (387)

Randomize