okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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