Texts From Last Night

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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.

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  (803): I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen. (803): He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather. http://tfl.nu/rlak
  Replies (12) Good night (1691) Bad night (924)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.

  (1-623): View more from Arizona

  Where are you?

  (623): View more from Arizona

  A place I should not be.

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  (623): Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors. (1-623): Where are you? (623): A place I should not be. http://tfl.nu/jfq9
  Replies (19) Good night (3979) Bad night (741)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?

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  (210): eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life? http://tfl.nu/6stl
  Replies (51) Good night (4611) Bad night (867)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.

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  (713): Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success. http://tfl.nu/wlhs
  Replies (9) Good night (5500) Bad night (963)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?

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  (908): Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body? http://tfl.nu/k849
  Replies (12) Good night (4180) Bad night (1210)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...

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  (404): Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february... http://tfl.nu/39i3
  Replies (6) Good night (4533) Bad night (1019)
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  (213): View more from California

  You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40

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  (213): You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40 http://tfl.nu/gfeh
  Replies (6) Good night (4097) Bad night (1501)
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  (347): View more from New York

  i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.

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  (347): i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick. http://tfl.nu/65g9
  Replies (10) Good night (2643) Bad night (1010)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.

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  (814): The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge. http://tfl.nu/3qou
  Replies (6) Good night (3320) Bad night (854)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?

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  (856): I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police? http://tfl.nu/pr1m
  Replies (5) Good night (1217) Bad night (870)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!

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  (616): which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?! http://tfl.nu/hp73
  Replies (5) Good night (471) Bad night (1250)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.

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  (805): I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore. http://tfl.nu/x6ui
  Replies (3) Good night (883) Bad night (353)
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  (518): View more from New York

  How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by

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  (518): How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by http://tfl.nu/853j
  Replies (6) Good night (645) Bad night (390)
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  (432): View more from Texas

  Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.

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  (432): Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it. http://tfl.nu/j4lk
  Replies (1) Good night (629) Bad night (473)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.

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  (615): I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving. http://tfl.nu/50sh
  Replies (6) Good night (337) Bad night (220)

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