Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift

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(917): under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift http://tfl.nu/rkcx

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(208): View more from Idaho

You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.

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(208): You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip. http://tfl.nu/pvxn

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light

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(203): Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light http://tfl.nu/z2qb

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(631): View more from New York

Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?

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(631): Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes? http://tfl.nu/b80v

Replies (6) Good night (2305) Bad night (720)
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(503): View more from Oregon

We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.

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(503): We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went. http://tfl.nu/bmv3

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(503): View more from Oregon

He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.

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(503): He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive. http://tfl.nu/kzk0

Replies (10) Good night (685) Bad night (2433)
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(334): View more from Alabama

It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!

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(334): It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas! http://tfl.nu/ak8o

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(703): View more from Virginia

Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience

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(703): Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience http://tfl.nu/mhgr

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(910): View more from North Carolina

Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?

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(910): Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares? http://tfl.nu/w5f4

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(586): View more from Michigan

He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.

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(586): He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs. http://tfl.nu/txkv

Replies (10) Good night (1621) Bad night (574)
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(530): View more from California

Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it

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(530): Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it http://tfl.nu/avbb

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(908): View more from New Jersey

And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.

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(908): And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on. http://tfl.nu/q88b

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(545): View more from

You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.

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(545): You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request. http://tfl.nu/ec9g

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"

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(978): And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road" http://tfl.nu/f7q8

Replies (1) Good night (349) Bad night (465)
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(585): View more from New York

I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners

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(585): I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners http://tfl.nu/gan5

Replies (2) Good night (350) Bad night (457)

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