My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I deserve this hangover.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
