He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
