I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
