I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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