This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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