ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I woke up under a house in Key West
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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