whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
