Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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