I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
