If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
