So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
