idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
