I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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