i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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