i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
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