wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
