Plan B is the new Plan A
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
it hurts more in the daytime
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
