is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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