Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
