Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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