Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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