Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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