distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
