come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
