I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
