he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
