He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
