wat bout pragnant strippers??
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Let the clothes fall where they may.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
