he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
