oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
