Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
