she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
