Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize