Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
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She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
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I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
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