More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
