it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
