I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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