how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
