It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
