I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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