but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Naked Twister starts at high noon
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
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