i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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