but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
